20 Things I Learned In 2020
Photo by Demi-Felicia Vares on Unsplash
I’ll spare you the cliche intro of “OMG 2020 suuuuucks!!! This year is the WORRRST!”
It does. And it is…
But repeating it over and over is kind of like hanging out with someone who has cancer while you’re wearing a t-shirt that says “You have cancer.”
Technically, it’s true. But it’s not very helpful.
Instead, I’ll take (what I hope is) a more genuine route and tell you that this has been the second hardest year of my life.
(The first hardest year of my life was following the end of a 4.5 year relationship where I was low-key depressed without even realizing it! It was a blast. 10/10 don’t recommend.)
But even in — and maybe especially in — the midst of the hellacious shitpile that 2020 has been, there are a few things I’ve learned.
I have turned those “few things” into a listicle of 20 things…
Because “20 Things I Learned In 2020” is a much better title than “19 Things I Learned In 2020.”
These lessons are about business, life, love, and other random things.
So, without any further rambling, here we go:
1. “Half of falling in love is wanting to.”
My friend Cole Schafer said that. (Check him out here.)
On Valentine’s weekend of 2020, the relationship I was in ended.
It had been a short relationship. But I felt like it had real potential. So when it ended, I was hurt.
I’ll spare you the diary entry here, but the gist of it is that I was not ready to step into the great unknown that is “a committed romantic relationship.”
The worst part was that I had a hard time admitting this to myself. So, while amicable, the breakup was unexpected.
Bottom line:
Finding love isn’t just about finding the right partner. It’s about actually wanting to be in a relationship.
2. Your life is a story.
(I’m reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller right now, and this section is largely ripped from that book. So credit for this one goes to him, not me.)
One of the weirdest things about life is that the clock is ticking for all of us…
And while we consciously “know” this, we can’t seem to grasp it on an emotional level.
That’s why we stay stuck in bad relationships, continue practicing bad habits, or even just fail to go after what we really want. We don’t realize that this moment, right now, is our life.
We think that our life will begin at some point in the future. Like, right now, we are just living through a trial run.
But the reality is that our life doesn’t start whenever we accomplish x, y, or z. Our life has already started. And for many of us, a good bit of it is already over.
Right now, we are writing the story of our existence. It’s the only one we’ll ever get to write. And it’s constantly slipping through our fingers.
The good news is that we are the authors of our own stories, and right now, we can choose to write a story we actually want to live.
3. Don’t neglect the internal work.
On a different note, earlier this year, I wrote a landing page for a shamefully low price.
The company was great, they paid up-front, and they were very easy to work with.
But if I were to do the same project now, I would charge at least twice as much, and up to 4x as much.
And what’s crazier is that I would quote this new price without losing any sleep.
My copywriting skills have improved, yes. But what’s improved most is my mindset.
Quoting higher prices, making more money, and achieving any new level of success requires internal work (on your mindset, beliefs, etc.) in addition to external work (improving your craft, redesigning your website, etc.).
It’s easy to neglect the internal part.
Don’t.
4. Going to live events is a good investment.
Before covid made breathing a capital offense, I went to Funnel Hacking Live 2020 and TCCIRL 2020.
Interacting with other marketers and copywriters at live events gives you new perspectives and helps you build relationships that would never have existed otherwise.
A lot of people go to live events to get clients. And that happens. But even if you don’t get a client from an event…
Showing up and making friends is still worth it.
(And as an added benefit, if you maintain those relationships, those friends might pass some work your way down the road.)
So once we can all breathe the same air again, I strongly recommend going to live events.
5. ALWAYS take time to prepare before potential client calls.
This one’s a bit embarrassing to admit. But it’s true. So here we go.
Earlier this year, I had a call with a potential client, and as you can probably guess from the headline of this section…
I didn’t do any research on the company before the call.
I’ve done plenty of intro calls before, so I got cocky and didn’t prepare like I should have.
So when I got on and the guy asked:
“So what do you know about our company?”
I wasn’t able to offer much. He was clearly frustrated. And he was also kind of a dick about it…
But I wasn’t doing myself any favors.
Needless to say, I didn’t get the gig (more on that in #6).
So, take it from someone who knows:
Even if it’s just a few minutes, take some time to prepare before you get on a call with a potential client. It will make your experience much more pleasant.
6. Flex on ’em when you need to.
Carrying on from #5…
As I mentioned, the dude I was talking to was being kind of a dick…
But little did he know, I’m normally at least somewhat on top of my shit…
And I’m a pretty good copywriter.
So when he asked:
“So what kind of work have you done in the past?”
I was able to rattle off some stats about work I had done before, and the tone of the conversation changed quickly.
I went from…
“Lazy copywriter who didn’t even prepare for the call…”
To…
“Skilled copywriter who actually knows what he’s talking about…”
In about 20 seconds.
By the end of the call, when we had both realized it wasn’t a good fit, he was asking me:
“So do you think we’re offering enough for this position?”
The lesson?
Don’t go around flexing on people all the time. That shit is annoying. But keep a record of your wins in your back pocket and share them when you need to.
It’s like the verbal version of pulling out a switchblade:
Don’t go around doing it all the time, but it’s good to have on you in case you get stuck in a sketchy spot.
7. Buying a motorcycle is a terrible investment.
I bought a motorcycle this summer.
It’s the biggest money pit I’ve ever owned.
If you’re considering purchasing a motorcycle, whatever you do:
Do not convince yourself that you will “be able to do it for a reasonable price.”
You probably won’t.
And if you ARE trying to do it on the cheap — just fork up the cash up-front for a high-quality motorcycle.
Otherwise, your “new motorcycle” will spend the majority of its first month in the shop getting fixed…
And you will spend way too much money paying for this.
8. Some things are better done alone. Some things aren’t.
In September of this year, I rented a cabin in Chattanooga and spent 4 days alone with my dog.
I journaled, read, and went hiking.
I had been looking forward to the trip for weeks, but when I got there, instead of feeling elated and free…
I just felt lonely.
The trip was great, and necessary, but it made me realize that some experiences are better shared with others.
On that note…
9. (Most) friendships are built, not found.
During our Spring Quarantine, my 2 roommates and I developed a morning routine, where we would take apple cider vinegar shots while listening to this song…
We hung up giant post-its in our kitchen/living room area — with quotes on one, business ideas on another, and a “days in quarantine” tally count on the last one…
We did a few workouts together…
And, all things considered, we had a pretty pleasant time being locked in the same place for 6 weeks.
Part of that is because we’ve known each other for a long time. And the other part is that we’ve been living together for 4 years now.
If we would have quarantined during our first year of living together, I’m sure it would have been fine…
But it would not have gone as well as it did this year.
It’s easy to fall into the idea that the reason your friendships are not working is because you haven’t found the right people…
And that may be true.
Or those relationships might just need more time to develop into something beautiful… like a fine wine or whatever.
(^ This might apply to romantic relationships sometimes too.)
10. Cracker Barrel hangs death traps from their ceiling and calls it decoration.
Seriously. Have you ever been in a Cracker Barrel?
They literally hang saws from the ceiling. It’s fucking crazy.
Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks this.
11. Adjusting to change happens faster than you think.
The first time I wore a mask was on March 15 this year.
I was on my way back to Nashville from San Diego, and my throat felt a little sore.
Because of that, I decided to wear a mask. And I remember getting nervously sweaty in the back of an Uber because I felt so awkward.
Now, wearing a mask is a prerequisite for being out in public. And for many people, the type of mask you wear is a fashion statement.
It’s wild to me how quickly masks went from being…
“Oh man I feel awkward about wearing this…”
To…
“Shit. Forgot my mask. Gotta go home and grab it.”
Just something to keep in mind any time you’re going through a big change. It might feel awkward now, but eventually it will become normal.
12. Mental illness thrives in isolation.
I think one of the beautiful things about covid — if anything from it can be considered beautiful — is that it showed us how much we need one another.
Social isolation is associated with anxiety and depression…
And depression symptoms were 3x higher in the pandemic than before it.
While that info isn’t exactly what I’d call “encouraging,” I believe it hints at something that’s kind of cool:
We are social creatures. And we are happiest when we are actually being social.
The mental health challenges of this year are obviously not only related to the isolation we’ve all experienced. The JAMA article above notes that:
“Lower income, having less than $5000 in savings, and having exposure to more stressors were associated with greater risk of depression symptoms during COVID-19.”
There has been no shortage of things to worry about this year. But I think the isolation definitely plays a part.
So (safely) spend time with the people you love when/if you can.
It doesn’t have to be in-person, either. Phone calls and FaceTime count too.
13. Maybe skateboarding isn’t the best hobby for a 28-year-old.
As a kid, I spent countless hours in my parents’ driveway learning how to do ollies, kickflips, and pop shove its.
This year, after a 15-year hiatus, I started skateboarding again.
The difference between then and now is that now, I have more gray hairs and more critical thinking skills — y’know, more “wisdom.”
But that “wisdom” hasn’t always saved me from making bad decisions.
One of those bad decisions happened on May 2, when I attempted to ollie down a set of stairs…
The story would be a lot cooler if I could tell you that it was a gigantic set of stairs and that I’m super good at skateboarding.
But it wasn’t and I’m not.
Instead, it was literally just two stairs. And instead of landing and rolling away like a seasoned pro, I landed at a 45-degree angle and promptly fell on my ass…
But not before I slammed my left hand into the ground while trying to stop the fall.
I ended up with a sprained wrist, which should qualify for some type of disability payment when you’re a copywriter.
I still go skateboarding sometimes. But I haven’t tried to ollie down a set of stairs since.
14. “Friction” is an unfortunate, but very real, part of dating in your 20s and beyond.
If I had a dollar for every time my lack of Christianity kept a relationship from working out…
I would have $2.
One of the great things about being in your 20s is that you learn a lot about yourself.
One of the challenging things about that is that it makes you a lot pickier when it comes to relationships.
And sometimes, even if 2 people are interested in one another, the relationship just won’t work out, because they have very real differences in the way that they view life.
(At least this is what I tell myself so I can feel better.)
In his book, Models, Mark Manson calls this “friction.” It sucks, but it’s very real.
So instead of trying to convince yourself that points of friction in a relationship (or potential relationship) are not a big deal…
Sometimes it’s best to call a spade a spade and avoid the trouble. (I’m still learning this one.)
15. Skydiving isn’t as scary as you think it is.
Going skydiving has been on my bucket list for a few years, because (and I recognize this sounds extreme)…
I wanted to stare Death in the face.
I know that might sound ridiculous, and I know that skydiving isn’t THAT dangerous…
But nonetheless, jumping out of a plane at 15,000 ft feels a bit like handing a note to Death that says:
“Are you going to kill me today? Check ‘yes’ or ‘no.’”
All that said, it was surprisingly less terrifying than I expected.
16. Sometimes, people aren’t going to like your work, and that’s okay.
It’s an unfortunate reality, but there are people out there who will never like your work.
No matter how skilled you are. No matter how hard you work at your craft. And no matter what you do.
Some people will just take a shit all over your hard work…
And that’s okay.
It’s not okay for them to be rude about it (although they will be, sometimes)…
But it’s also not okay for you to let these people stop you from doing your work.
Just accept that it will happen, and do your best. (Which sounds like lazy advice, but it’s true.)
17. When it comes to friends, choose quality over quantity.
If 2020 showed us one thing, it’s who our close friends are.
All those people who you only kind of enjoyed hanging out with fell by the wayside. The reward of hanging out with them was not worth the risk.
But the people who meant the most?
If you’re anything like me, they stuck around. And you stuck with them too.
This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I’ve always wanted to be popular. To be loved and admired by large groups of people.
And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have that desire. However…
This year has shown me that popularity, while it might be nice, isn’t what you should focus on when it comes to friendships.
What you should focus on is spending time with a select group of people you love and who love you back.
18. Go throw a frisbee.
Look, I’m all for productivity hacks, but at a certain point…
You gotta put that shit down and just have fun.
This year, I have felt myself becoming that grumpy old man who can’t seem to find joy in anything…
But I have also felt myself dip into a playful side I had forgotten existed.
Life doesn’t always have to be about “success” or “reaching the next stage” or any of that shit.
Instead, sometimes life can be about throwing a frisbee in the yard…
Going to the skatepark…
Or cracking jokes with your friends until you laugh so hard you start crying.
19. A reading chair is a much better investment than a motorcycle.
Just trust me on this one. And buy a reading chair if you don’t already have one.
20. Being an entrepreneur requires faith.
Not a “fingers crossed, hope for the best” kind of faith, but an…
“I’m going to work my ass off and that will lead to good things” kind of faith.
It’s the kind of faith that says:
“I know I’m walking on a tightrope in the middle of a windstorm, but I’m just going to cross my fingers and keep putting one foot in front of the other.”
It doesn’t always work out. But it helps keep you (mostly) sane.
My dad likes to say that, every now and then, even a blind squirrel finds a nut.
In this analogy, I’m the squirrel and 2020 is the psychopathic woodpecker who has plucked my eyes out.
These lessons are the nuts I’ve been able to gather over the past year.
I hope you’ve found at least one of them helpful. (And I hope you consider wearing a helmet the next time you go to Cracker Barrel.)
If you’ve made it this far, you’ll probably enjoy my emails too.