help
It's 11:15PM, and I'm sitting on the couch in my living room.
I've just turned off an episode of New Girl (does anyone else feel like Season 7 is a disappointment? Or it that just me?).
And through my cracked window, I think I hear a man screaming:
"HELP! HELP! HELP!"
So I go to the window and stick my head out.
And he keeps yelling.
At this point, I'm honestly not sure if he's yelling "help" or something else.
But I'm reading a book right now called The Overstory (which I strongly recommend), and in it -- one of the characters talks about something called...
"The Bystander Effect."
Basically, it's when you see that someone in a public place needs help and think to yourself:
"Oh, I'm sure someone else is already handling that."
Because this idea was fresh in my mind, I decided I didn't want to be a bystander.
If this guy really did need help, then I didn't want to be the person who ignores him and just goes to sleep.
So, reluctantly, I stood up, grabbed a pack of cigarettes, and headed out to my car.
(If you're wondering why the cigarettes were necessary, here's your answer:
I have a theory that, if you're going to head out into the darkness by yourself at 11:15PM at night...
You should try to look a little edgy.
That way, people don't try to mess with you.
And cigarettes = edgy.
Whether this theory is true or not -- I don't know. But it seems solid to me.)
I get into my car, roll the windows down so I can hear where the yelling is coming from, and start driving.
I turn left onto a side street and roll up to a stop sign.
There are dogs barking in a yard down the street. And this guy is definitely yelling:
"HELP! HELP! HELP!"
I am practically on top of him, but I can't see him anywhere.
There's a set of apartments on my right. And there's an empty spot in the parking lot, so I back into it...
Grab one of my cigarettes and a lighter...
And cautiously get out of the car.
I hear a siren in the distance, and a few seconds later, a cop car -- lights on and sirens off -- pulls up to the corner across the street, where there's another set of apartments.
I walk down to the sidewalk to watch.
To my right, there's a group of people on the deck of their apartment, and they're watching too.
The cop gets out of his car, and walks up to a small set of stairs and starts talking to someone.
It's the screaming man.
I can't see him, but I can hear him.
"The dogs over there are loose," he tells the cop.
"So that's why you're screaming?" the cop asks. "Because you're scared of dogs?"
"Yeah," the guy says.
Either he had a serious fear of dogs...
Was on some sort of substance...
Or both.
Regardless, I could breathe a sigh of relief.
The guy wasn't in any legitimate danger. The cops had the situation under control. And it was clear that I would be of no help here...
So I left.
When it comes to public disturbances...
You should probably call the cops.
But when it comes to writing good email copy...
Well...