EMM06: "Train Dreams" by Denis Johnson
"Whatcha reading?" my physical therapist, Chris, asked as I walked back into the exercise area of the office.
Chris is short with short gray hair. She competes in triathlons. And she's good at her job.
"Heart of Darkness today," I told her as I sat down on an examination table.
"That's Conrad, isn't it?" she asked.
Sweet Jesus. My physical therapist knows who wrote Heart of Darkness.
I'm amazed.
"It is," I told her. "I watched Apocalypse Now recently, and it's loosely based on this book. So I wanted to read it."
"I've never seen that one," Chris said, standing at her rolling desk and typing. "But I remember when it came out. It's about Vietnam, right?"
"Yep," I said.
"Who was the director of that? Spielberg or George Lucas or someone else?" she asked.
"It was actually Coppola. Francis Ford Coppola," I told her. And then I nerded out for a second:
"The filming of it was actually super interesting. They filmed it in the jungle in Cambodia. And it took a lot longer than they initially planned. Coppola was actually working on the script while they were in the jungle shooting the movie."
And I'm gonna nerd out even more here:
At this point in his career, Coppola had directed both of the Godfather movies...
Which had been incredibly successful.
But Apocalypse Now was turning into a nightmare. Coppola ended up having to fund part of the movie himself.
Meaning that he put up millions of his own dollars to pay for it.
And here's the craziest part to me:
It wasn't just that Coppola was making tweaks to the script while they were filming...
He was literally writing the ending of the movie.
In the documentary about the filming, named Heart of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse...
Coppola talks about how he has written himself into a corner.
He's created a problem he doesn't know how to solve.
He's on set in the jungle, filming an incredibly challenging movie...
He has no idea how it's going to end...
And it's up to him to figure it out.
Keep in mind, this is on top of all the standard responsibilities of being a director.
So what happened?
Somehow, Coppola figures it out. He writes the ending of the movie. They finish filming.
Editing takes a long time. But when the movie finally comes out, it earns over $140 million at the box office.
And now, it's considered one of the best movies of all time.
So what does any of this have to do with marketing or copywriting?
I'm sure we could all take a note from Coppola when it comes to perseverance and finishing the job you were hired to do.
But the other point I want to make is this:
I focus a lot on the ability to tell stories from your own life in your emails...
And I show you exactly how to do that in Stories That Sell...
But your emails don't always have to be about you.
If you want, they can be about stories from other people's lives too.
The piece we're reviewing today is from the first chapter of Train Dreams by Denis Johnson. It's written in 3rd person (which means that it is not about Johnson himself)...
And it's a great example of writing that pulls you in immediately.
So if you've ever found yourself sucked into a piece of writing and wondering how the hell it happened…
Or found yourself wanting (or needing) to write an email to your list, but had no idea what to say…
This episode will give you some strategies to grab a reader's attention quickly and write an email when you have no idea what to write about.
The Piece
A few things before we get started:
Since this piece is from the beginning of a novella, the best (free) link I found for it was through Kindle Preview. So the button below is a Kindle preview link. Just a heads up.
We’re just focusing on the first four paragraphs.
There is some offensive language in this piece. And just to be crystal clear — I do not endorse this language in any way, shape, or form. This is a piece of fiction. It's set in the early 1900s. As both you and I know, language was much different — and more offensive — back then. So as you read this piece, understand that the language is a reflection of the setting and is not a reflection of my political views or of the author's. Cool? Cool.
(After you finish reading, scroll down for the lessons)
Lessons We Can Learn From This Piece
1. Tell other people's stories
The first thing to notice about this piece is that it's written in third person. That means it's not about Johnson — the author — but about someone else.
If you're a personal brand running your own email marketing — you might default to the idea that every email you write must either be about you or your perspective on something.
But what if you need to write an email to your list… but you don't have anything to say?
What if you run out of things to write about?
When you don't have a story to tell…
Tell someone else's.
This means you can share a story about one of your subscribers or customers (assuming you have their permission, obviously).
You can share a story about someone you know in real life.
You can share a little-known story about a celebrity.
The possibilities are, quite literally, endless. Keep an ear out for stories. And keep a note in your phone where you write down story ideas for your emails.
2. Show what's happening
Most of the time, the foundation of a good story is the events that happen in it.
The more interesting the events in your story are, the more interesting the story itself will be.
So, for example — a story about the time I was hit by a car is probably going to be more interesting than a story about a recent trip to the grocery to buy rotisserie chicken.
That said, if you're telling a "boring" story — there's actually a strategy you can use to make it more interesting.
I show you how to do it in Stories That Sell. But for the sake of this article, let's assume you're telling an interesting story —
One where someone gets bitten by a dog or a waiter drops a whole tray of food in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
If you're telling one of those stories, the best thing you can do is show what's happening.
Notice how, in this piece from Train Dreams, most of the writing focuses on what is actually, physically happening — the events.
Occasionally, he mentions what the characters are thinking and what their internal experience is like. But for the most part — he's pulling you into the scene and showing you, frame by frame, what's happening in the outside world.
This is one of the most foolproof ways to grab a reader's attention.
So if you're writing a storytelling email, and it feels boring — focus on the action.
Don't beat around the bush. Get into it. Show the reader what's happening.
3. Show what's unique
While the foundation of a good story is the events that happen in it… one of the ways you can instantly "spice up" a story is to highlight the unique elements of a situation.
Here are a few examples of how Johnson does that in this piece:
He mentions that "a rapid singsong" comes from the man being carried. This is unique, because you would not expect "singsong" to be coming from a man who is on his way to be thrown off a bridge.
The phrase: "Sears laughed once, his face pale with fatigue and horror." The idea of someone being horrified and yet laughing at the same time is unique.
When he describes the man escaping, Johnson says that he "dropped from beam to beam like a circus artist downward along the crosshatch structure." You wouldn't expect a man that is running for his life to move as gracefully as a circus artist.
If you're writing a storytelling email — what are some of the unique elements of your story?
Is it the way the cashier at the hardware store is dressed?
Is it the fact that the bartender openly spit in your drink before handing it to you?
These are the things that will grab a reader's attention. Humans crave variety and uniqueness. If you can give them that in your emails — they'll read…
They'll stick around longer…
And they'll buy more too.
4. Only include what's relevant
When reading pieces like this, I like to pay attention to what the author does not share.
He doesn't talk about the clothes the men were wearing. He hardly talks about what they looked like at all. He barely includes any background on these characters, either.
He gets straight into the action.
This is good practice when it comes to your email marketing too.
If you want your emails to be as compelling as possible — especially if they're storytelling emails — you don't need to include every. single. detail.
Only include information that is relevant to your story. Cut the fluff. If something doesn't move the story forward, get rid of it.
5. Be clear about who wants what
That's a bit of a tongue-twister, so I'll explain:
We know that the group of men wants to throw the man they’re carrying off the bridge.
And we know that the man being carried does not want to be thrown off the bridge.
Each group has a goal.
And there's no clear indication of who will win.
There's a LOT of tension.
Whether we like it or not, we're being taken on this journey, and as these men get higher up the mountain, the tension increases and we wonder what's going to happen next.
Who will win?
Will the man get thrown off the bridge? Or will he survive?
That's one of the keys to a good story.
So if you want to write a compelling storytelling email — it's a good idea to clearly show the reader who wants what.
What are the goals of the characters in the story?
What happens if they don't achieve those goals?
This helps create tension. And tension helps keep readers reading.
How To Apply These Lessons To Your Email Marketing ASAP
Here's a quick summary of the lessons from this piece:
Tell other people's stories
Show what's happening
Show what's unique
Only include what's relevant
Be clear about who wants what
And here's how you can apply them to your email marketing:
Write a storytelling email about an event from someone else's life.
This should go without saying, but as I mentioned earlier:
You should have permission to tell this story.
Use good taste here. This is not your opportunity to tell the story about how your best friend once puked on a wedding cake or anything like that.
When in doubt — go with a story about a historical figure.
(The story I told about the beginning of this piece about Apocalypse Now is an example of that.)
The idea is to tell a story from someone else's life, and use the other 4 tips in this article to make it as engaging as possible:
Show what's happening
Show what's unique
Only include what's relevant
Be clear about who wants what
Then, transition to your product pitch at the end and make some sales. (More details on how to do that in Stories That Sell, if you're interested.)
Here's What You Should Do Next
Thanks for reading Email Marketing Motivation. Here's what you should do next:
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Check out my course, Stories That Sell, if you want my comprehensive guide on how to write storytelling emails that earn more money for your business and help you connect with your audience in a genuine way.